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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24789361">the finite</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinpika/pseuds/kinpika'>kinpika</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>thin red line [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Star Wars Legends: The Old Republic (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Doc POV, F/M, Hurt/Comfort, Kissing ofc its doc, Sometime after Emperor's Ship the first time, Zeltron OC, where do we go from here</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:09:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,470</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24789361</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/kinpika/pseuds/kinpika</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>"I... just wanted to be a good Jedi. Not a good Sith.”</i>
  <br/>
  <i>Admission that takes him by surprise. “What do you mean by that?”</i>
</p>
<p>They're different people now.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Female Jedi Knight | Hero of Tython/Archiban "Doc" Kimble</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>thin red line [5]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1393306</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>the finite</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Doc gets four steps into the conference room, before he stops. Stares over the datapad in his hand, brows quirking. Not that stumbling upon one or two of the resident force users was unusual, especially deep in meditative states. Normally he could just side step them, continue on his determined path, and all was well.</p>
<p>But seeing the three of them together? Now, that was unusual. So much so that his lingering clearly caused some disturbance <em>in the force</em>, as Nona was the first one to look up. Slow smile that breaks across her face, as she pushed herself up, tiptoeing around Kira. Hands raised, incredibly polite and apologetic, ushering him back the few steps. Doc follows suit, watching the door close behind her, before opening his mouth to speak.</p>
<p>Nona cuts him off, still whispering, still polite. “Sorry, I should’ve warned you.”</p>
<p>Wets her lips, and Doc doesn’t follow the motion. “S’alright. You… you going okay in there?” Not bouncing back quick enough. Looking at the spot just over her shoulder. A dangerous angle, as he remembered last week, much in the way she did too, with how she shifts her head, tipping her hair forward. Flush of red under pink on her cheeks.</p>
<p>Skirting around on the edges of each other for too long. Hard to go back. “We’re just.” Puff of air, her hands going out in a way that suggested she couldn’t explain herself. “Talking, I guess. Kind of.”</p>
<p>“Even Scourge, huh. Big Red got a lot to say?”</p>
<p>“More than you’d think.”</p>
<p>“I’m sure he has. Looked pretty deep in—uh—conversation back there. Didn’t mean to interrupt.”</p>
<p>“No, it’s okay! I—I sensed you, I guess. Then remembered I meant to say something.”</p>
<p>She realises her mistake exactly half a second before he smiles. With a groan, Nona presses a hand to her forehead. “I mean—”</p>
<p>“So, you <em>sensed</em> me.”</p>
<p>Grumble of words that Doc doesn’t pick up on, but that didn’t matter. Ice broken. “I mean, I’ve got to say that is one mighty compliment coming from you, Madame Jedi.”</p>
<p>“I’m not going to go into it. <em>Bye</em>.”</p>
<p>Oh, no, she doesn’t. Taking her arm, fingers wrapping around warm skin, he tugs her back. “I think that’s the answer I was looking for.”</p>
<p>“Doc…”</p>
<p>Swinging her around, he’s. Careful and practiced and holding her, right there, against the door. Solid blue staring back, and Doc could be romantic and think of a dozen different planets, with almost the exact same shade. Instead he tucks a stray piece of hair behind her ear, fighting the smile.</p>
<p>“Nona, I know you’re embarrassed, and I appreciate that.” Holds up a hand, when she opens her mouth to protest. “But you have to know that that thing you did with your—”</p>
<p>Reflexes. Covers his mouth but that doesn’t stop the muffled words against her skin. The laugh that leaves him, as she goes a deeper colour in response. “Will you just <em>stop</em>?!”</p>
<p>It takes a small amount of effort to pull her off him. “I’m <em>kidding</em>, gorgeous. Look, you didn’t use any mind trick, you said so yourself, and I don’t think there was any pheromone-induced <em>whatever</em>. I’ve gotten pretty good at picking that sort of thing up.</p>
<p>“I promise, if something felt wrong, I’d be out of here like the… Jedi out of Korriban, alright? You didn’t <em>do</em> anything.”</p>
<p>Doc was holding her wrists, thumb over pressure point. Not sure if it was his own heartbeat too loud in his ears, or the subtle <em>thump</em> just there, but Nona steadily. Relaxed. Slow slump of shoulders, like all the wind came rushing out of her sails.</p>
<p>“Nothing happened. We didn’t kiss. It’s all good.”</p>
<p>“You saved my life.”</p>
<p>Tells himself, keep it cool. Detach. Hasn’t let go of her, not just yet. Offers something of a half shrug instead. “Part of the job, sometimes. It’s been known to happen.”</p>
<p>Nona’s smile wasn’t nearly as convincing as either of them had hoped. Just the way she bites her lip, and he lets her go. “Alright, well. Thank you. Again.” Red in her cheeks still hadn’t died down, even as she holds her left in right, fingers over where his hands had been moments before.</p>
<p>Take a step back, he tells himself. Clears his throat. “As you were, gorgeous. I’ll come back up later.”</p>
<p>One foot in front of the other. Smart man. Keep going. Just that little bit of internal encouragement that he betrays to turn around, to peer up the deck. See the way Nona slumps against the door. Hand in her hair, pushing it out of her face, as she mumbles. Big exhale, followed by another stretch, another touch. Doc has to turn away, as she smiles, rubbing the back of his neck. Well, shit.</p>
<p>And it was easy to fall back into a regular routine. Of running for cover and going into any and all kinds of particularly disastrous places, barely emerging victorious. Only a handful of times to patch her back up, fingers never lingering too long, even though he calls her. Gorgeous, sweetheart, beautiful. <em>Nona</em>. Particular moment, down in a bunker on Belsavis, chiding her for coming in a second short. Still saving the day, still playing hero.</p>
<p>Doc never really liked it when other people played hero. He’d seen the remains of them, more often than not. Or maybe it was just her, with how her fingers brush the inside of his wrist.</p>
<p>Dangerous. From the way Nona had laughed it off once, they both were to each other. Collision course. One of his lines, that got a reflexive giggle behind the hand, bright eyes, quick wink. Her lips had been warm against his.</p>
<p>“This isn’t me thanking you, again, by the way.” Said, against his lips, as Doc’s hand brushes her cheeks.</p>
<p>Responds, against the corner of her mouth, tentatively holding her waist. “Wasn’t asking.”</p>
<p>Soft and slow, like there wasn’t pressures and time and weight of the universe. Doc isn’t sure who breaks it first, because it had been a while since. Since that had happened. And he’s lost count, somewhere around learning in too close on Hoth, hand pulling her back on Voss. Too many moments, rolling into one.</p>
<p>Like now. Skipping through time so that the rush of her surviving had long since passed for him. If Doc closed his eyes, he could recount exactly where Nona’s scar ran, how deep, wide. How many stitches it took to put her back together, how many medpacks, how long she had been out. Down to the exact minute. And Doc knows there’s an obsession, in that information. Storing it, right up there, beside finding cures for diseases and the most effective way to treat burns on boiling planets.</p>
<p>There’s not a lot to this kiss, but there’s weight in the way she looks. Still figuring it out, putting all the little pieces together so it makes sense to her. Doc hadn’t thought of himself much like those puzzles she spent more time meditating with than anything else, but perhaps to her, they were similar. A large part of him took that as a compliment. The quieter part told him otherwise.</p>
<p>Taking her by the hand, he leads her. Settles her on the couch and watches as she folds her legs underneath. Arm’s length between them, his fingers brushing her shoulder. His turn, to figure it out. And Nona is fingers twisted in material, narrowed eyes, deep breaths. Control.</p>
<p>"I... just wanted to be a good Jedi. Not a good Sith.”</p>
<p>Admission that takes him by surprise. “What do you mean by that?”</p>
<p>Nona exhales, the tiniest hint of a wobble around her smile. “Zeltron make great Sith. All that <em>emotion</em>, y’know. From the time you can walk, you’re taught to control it, Jedi or not. And… I guess I couldn’t.”</p>
<p>Truth in depth. Those long months, of how he still has a limp, of how Kira cries out in her sleep, are rarely spoken about. If only because it’s dangerous territory, unsure of where to go moving forward. Doc knew that Scourge and Nona spoke, often, without using so many words. And the Council were more than happy to ignore the singular blip, as if there was not a stretch of time, of Nona ripping through their defences, instead of the other way around. So determined to hold her up to an impossible standard.</p>
<p>But they weren’t the ones administering assistance to sleep quietly through the night, nor makeshift splints in the middle of a trench. It would be wrong for him to speak up about them, now. Save that conversation for another day.</p>
<p>Instead, Doc makes a move — sidestep, left. “Is that such a bad thing?”</p>
<p>“Defeats the purpose of following a code that’s about not letting yourself be ‘clouded in judgement’.” Oh, fingers raised in almost sarcastic quotation marks. That was funny, with how her face scrunches up.</p>
<p>“Well, I prefer to think of most codes as… <em>guidelines</em>. Sometimes there’s room to wiggle around in.” Yeah, he heard the sermon. Filed it away for being other kind of nonsense. <em>Don’t worry, Jedi Council, Doc will make sure your precious Hero doesn’t waste away!</em></p>
<p>For her part, Nona falls silent. Doc was left to watch her suddenly recount every and all instances, likely the realisation that perhaps the code was a guideline, and things could’ve been different. Or, her silence last another thirty seconds, before her tone hits an incredibly flat note. Blunt, brow raised, “or, for sex?”</p>
<p>Doc laughs loudly at that, shifting a fraction closer, hand on her shoulder now. “No, not just for sex. And if you tell me that every Jedi in that temple hadn’t had sex, I’d call you a liar, anyway. I’ve seen you make decisions that weren’t emotionless. I think you’re a better Jedi than you give yourself credit for.”</p>
<p>Previous discretion aside.</p>
<p>Perhaps Nona knew that the thought had passed through his mind. Except it didn’t matter, when he noticed the slightly darker tinge to her cheeks. And, Doc can feel his own warm too, just a little, before she clears her throat, crossing her arms over her chest. “I can’t tell if you’re just saying that to seduce me now, Doc.”</p>
<p>“Nona, gorgeous, I have been trying to seduce you for weeks. If you’re just picking up on it now, after we’ve made out a few times… I’m not really sure what to tell you.”</p>
<p>“That I was doing a better job than you?”</p>
<p>“Oh, <em>ouch</em>. That was. That was mean, thank you. I pride myself on my superb skills of seduction.”</p>
<p>Smile hidden behind her hand, as her eyes crinkled at the corners. “I’m sorry. I think.”</p>
<p>At some point, he’d gotten closer. Or she had. Doc didn’t think about the specifics, then. Not when he couldn’t stop himself from opening his big mouth again. “Look, Nona, I appreciate you being honest. I mean I kind of figured but…” Half shrug, hand raised in a way that was meant to be dismissive. Wave that thought away. “You let me know what you wanna do, where you wanna go from here. Doesn’t have to be today or tomorrow, just whenever.”</p>
<p>The way she looks at him is too honest. Like Nona was seeing something he didn’t. Maybe this was the part she was talking about, headfirst, wells of emotions. Not like he hadn’t met the odd zeltron either, he knew. He <em>got</em> it. Part of him had found the irony apparent on Balmorra, but that was between him and the walls of the ship.</p>
<p>Util it had been exploited, a cracked open sort of wound. One day, they would be able to revisit it. Even if they all treated it like a quiet joke. That losing nearly a year’s worth of sanity didn’t matter. Terrible thoughts, the spiralling kind.</p>
<p>And she was the master of intervention. “So what actually happened?”</p>
<p>“Whaddya mean?” Slow response, that results in the drag in his voice. Blinking back into, her room, aboard the ship, spiralling towards another destination. Planet: unknown.</p>
<p>“After I woke up. I remember bits and pieces but—”</p>
<p>“I don’t know if I want to answer that. You might avoid me for a week again.” Doc wants to say, it’s easy to slide the tease back into his voice. Truly, it almost sounds convincing to his own ears. Sells the words, waits for a result.</p>
<p>Long pause, before Nona covers her face with a groan. “Oh no, what did I—“</p>
<p>“Nona, take a <em>breather</em>.” Hadn’t realised how close they were now, how he could tilt her chin up, just so. “Like I said, we didn’t kiss. You did try to — you get very handsy I found out — but you were heavily sedated, and I’m not about that under the influence lifestyle. I had to get a hand from Kira to get you basically knock you back out.” Pulling one of her hands away, pinching her wrist between thumb and forefinger. “And that’s the truth, Doc’s honour.”</p>
<p>Wets her lips, before she smiles. “Cross your heart?”</p>
<p>For prosperity’s sake, he even signs it, across his skin. “Promise. Against my better judgement, I do like you.”</p>
<p>Perhaps the admission was more embarrassing for Nona than him. Or they were equal parts flushed and amused, with how she leans in, resting her forehead against his. “I like you, too,” is what she says, but there’s something else in her eye.</p>
<p>Doc finds her lips, in a gentle press. Not deep, not certain, mindful of. Everything. Turns, to kiss the corner of her mouth, with the intent of pulling away. “I’d hope so,” he murmurs, voice thick, swallowing loudly. “It’d be awkward if you didn’t, after all this.”</p>
<p>Nona turns, nose brushing his, eyes sliding shut. Easy for him to call her all the names he held for her, the easy sleazy kind of walk he’d maintained for far too long. But they weren’t right, in this specific moment. “Ever happen before?” she asks, instead, one eye opening to find his.</p>
<p>“Once on Nar Shaddaa. Wasn’t even an assassination attempt.”</p>
<p>And she whispers, “the horror.” Any other time, the banter would be there, to find and fall into. Deflect and pine and flirt. Get muddled up in half baked politics and lightsabers and quick winks around the Republic’s shoulders.</p>
<p>Except Doc has to admit, he’s lost. Gone to the forgotten months and Balmorra and all the time in between. Now. That her lips are soft and he asks her, please, <em>say my name</em>. Vulnerability was not a trait he cared for, but her fingers are on his knee, and he gently cups her cheek. Seemed right, that he was losing track of time. Somewhere along the line. Didn’t matter. The only thing that did, was now.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>so like i didnt realise the jk storyline had you literally become a sith lord for an undetermined amount of time and then skipped straight into "its fine fuggedaboutit" so i think thats fucked up and would've fucked up a lot of stuff! anyway</p></blockquote></div></div>
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